127 Questions to Ask Your Partner About Love, Life, & Intimacy

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Running out of questions to ask your partner? When you’ve been together for a long time , it’s easy to slip into a daily routine and forget to do your part to stay connected. Just because someone isn’t vocalizing the need to communicate more often doesn’t mean that they don’t want to, and the last thing you want is to be blindsided by a fight when you thought everything was going perfectly well.

What’s more, according to couples consultant and coach Lesli Doares , women, in particular, have a tendency to “go radio silent after years of attempts to improve the relationship. If she no longer is talking about it, and a specific solution has not been implemented, she may be planning her exit .” But men—as our society often seems to forget—have feelings too, and many a husband would rather bottle up his emotions than tell his spouse that something is amiss.

Now, no one is suggesting that you have a Big Relationship Talk every single day—that would be exhausting. But it’s important to keep up a healthy back-and-forth, because there’s always something left to discover about your partner. You don’t have to go into these conversations unprepared either—read on for a handy guide to the most important, eye-opening questions you can ask your love.

READ THIS NEXT: 21 Questions For a New Relationship .

Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner

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1. What’s your favorite memory from when we first started dating?
2. Have you ever cheated on any of your past partners?
3. How did you first figure out that we were on the same page in terms of how we wanted to progress the relationship?
4. What does being a good friend to you look like?
5. How can I be a better support for you?
6. How have you changed in the past year? In the past decade?
7. Do you ever wish we were raised differently?
8. When was the last time you cried?
9. What’s your biggest insecurity?
10. What boundaries are most important to you?
11. How would you compare our relationship to your parents’ relationship?
12. Is there anything you’ve been holding onto that you want to get off your chest?
13. What do you think are the most important elements for success in a long-term relationship?
14. What’s one piece of advice you wish you could give to your younger self?
15. Would you stay with me if you found out I was unable to bear children?
16. True or false: My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.
17. What negative dynamics were present during your last relationship?
18. Are there any mental health issues or addiction struggles in your family?
19. Do you ever get uncomfortable with how I dress?

READ THIS NEXT: 271 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend Before Getting Serious .

Juicy Questions to Ask Your Spouse

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1. Which physical feature of mine do fantasize about most?
2. Who is your celebrity crush?
3. What are some things we can do outside of the bedroom to keep the spark alive?
4. Do you have any fantasies you want to try out?
5. What’s an instant turn-on for you?
6. If you were going to watch a naughty video right now, what terms would you search for?
7. Ideally, how often would you like for us to be intimate?
8. What’s your favorite form of physical touch?
9. What are your thoughts on toys?
10. What’s your favorite sex scene from a movie?
11. Would you ever consider bringing a third person into the bedroom?
12. How do you feel about open relationships?
13. How often do you like to masturbate?
14. What’s something you’ve never been interested in exploring, even though people say it can help improve your sex life?
15. Where would you most like to be intimate outside of the bedroom?
16. Do you want to create a sex tape?
17. What’s your favorite song to listen to when getting it on?

Questions About the Past

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1. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
2. What did you think about our first kiss?
3. What was the most embarrassing moment you can remember from when we first started dating?
4. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about relationships following a breakup?
5. How did your last relationship end and in what ways did you contribute to the breakup?
6. Did you debate whether or not to ask me out?
7. What was your first impression of me?
8. What was your favorite subject in school?
9. How long would you say it took to get to know me on a deeper level?
10. How old were you when you got into your first serious relationship?
11. Do you think it took longer for us to develop an emotional connection or a sexual connection?
12. Do you think it’s important to know how many people your current partner has been intimate with?
13. How have your relationships with friends and family changed over the years?
14. How have I changed over the years?
15. What’s your biggest regret concerning our relationship?
16. What’s something we used to do that you wish we could add back into our routine? READ THIS NEXT: 228 Questions to Ask a Girl During Your Next Date .

Serious Questions About the Future

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1. What do you think we need to start prioritizing to maintain a healthy relationship?
2. How much money do we want to set aside for luxuries like date nights and travel?
3. Would you be willing to engage in a long-distance relationship if it meant one of us got to pursue our dream job?
4. How do you think you would react if my physical appearance suddenly or drastically changed in the future?
5. What are your opinions on divorce?
6. What would your ideal wedding budget be?
7. In what area of your life do you think you could use a coach or a mentor?
8. Do you ever have any doubts about us?
9. Where do you see yourself living when you retire?
10. What are your thoughts on having our elderly parents live with us if they can’t live on their own one day?
11. How many pets would you be willing to take care of?
12. How long are you comfortable being engaged for?
13. Would you ever consider sleeping in separate bedrooms?
14. Do marriage and children go hand-in-hand for you?
15. Is owning a home important to you or are you OK renting?
16. Will we be moving in together with the plan to marry?
17. Do you ever picture having grandchildren?
18. How well do you think our parenting styles will align?
19. How will you fulfill your need for alone time when we’re living together?
20. How do you imagine a day in the life of us married with kids?
21. What’s something that would be a deal breaker for you going forward?

Random Questions to Ask Your Partner

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1. What’s your all-time favorite movie?
2. What’s your weirdest guilty pleasure?
3. Describe our first date.
4. If you could know one thing about your future, what would it be?
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
6. Do you have a least favorite relative?
7. Finish this statement: I’m going to make more of an effort to…
8. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
9. What’s one show you want us to rewatch?
10. What’s the best part of your average day?
11. Describe my perfect day.
12. What’s something you’ve been procrastinating on?
13. If you could solve one problem, what would it be?
14. Name three things we have in common and three differences.
15. What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to me but couldn’t?
16. Who is your role model in life and who is your role model in love?
17. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?
18. What’s something you would love to try but are too afraid to?
19. If we were randomly gifted one million dollars, how would you want to spend it?

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Relationship Questions About Love

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1. What does emotional intimacy look like to you?
2. What’s your favorite way to express love?
3. How can I love you better?
4. When do you feel most loved by me?
5. What’s your favorite sort of text to receive from me?
6. Did you experience love at first sight when we met?
7. What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?
8. What’s your favorite way to spend quality time together?
9. What’s your love language?
10. What do you think makes us so compatible?
11. What is your definition of a spouse?
12. What could I do to make you feel more respected?
13. Are you happy with me?
14. How do you feel our relationship is going?
15. What’s your happiest memory of us together?
16. Do you feel like we spend enough time together?
17. How can I show my appreciation for you better?
18. Do you think I’m a good caregiver?

Fun Questions to Ask Your Partner

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1. What do you want to do for our next date night?
2. Which famous person would you want a “sex pass” for?
3. Describe your dream vacation.
4. What has been your greatest accomplishment in life?
5. What would you say is your greatest talent?
6. What’s one activity that makes you feel alive?
7. What do you think is my weirdest habit?
8. What would you title your memoir?
9. What am I best at cooking?
10. What was one of your best moments at work?
11. If you could actually keep a New Year’s resolution, what would it be?
12. What was the best vacation we’ve ever been on?
13. What are ten things you would bring with you to a desert island?
14. Which one of your pet peeves do I consistently violate?
15. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given about dating?
16. If you could host a dinner party with five influential or famous people (dead or alive), who would they be?
17. What’s the next thing you want to cross off your bucket list?

Wrapping Up

228 Questions to Ask a Girl During Your Next Date

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Asking a bunch of questions isn’t just a way good way to get to know someone—it’s also an effective means of letting them know you’re interested in what they have to say. Individuals who ask a lot of questions are perceived more positively, too; appearing likable and more capable of intimacy. At the very least, the practice can lead to some great conversation. You never know when a few interesting questions will snowball into something else entirely; be it an antidote from the past or a friendly debate for new friends.

Of course, you do want to tailor things towards the person you’re speaking with, which is why we’ve compiled a list of questions to ask a girl on a first date or when trying to deepen your connection to someone close. We’ve even got a few questions that you can ask over text. Because let’s be honest—it’s not always easy to be so upfront in person. Below, you’ll find the all material you need to get started.

READ THIS NEXT: 241 Questions to Ask a Guy On a Date, In-Person, or Via Text .

228 Fun Questions to Ask a Girl

Check out the list below for new ways to strike up a fun conversation. After all, you never know when a few random questions will lead to a more interesting story. If nothing else, these prompts are sure to help you get to know each other just a little bit better.

Interesting Conversation Starters

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1. What’s the weirdest tradition your family practices?
2. What’s your favorite word in the English language?
3. What’s the most out-of-character thing you’ve ever done?
4. Do you have a favorite joke?
5. Who’s your favorite animated character?
6. What’s your dream job?
7. Would you rather have more money or more time?
8. What’s the best way to reconnect with old friends?
9. How did you meet your best friend?
10. What’s your go-to karaoke song ?
11. What’s your favorite movie?
12. What’s your favorite memory from your time spent overseas?
13. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done on vacation?
14. What’s the first memory you can remember?
15. What’s your favorite food?
16. Are you an early bird or a night owl?
17. What’s your spirit animal?
18. Have you ever been hypnotized?
19. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
20. What’s the most embarrassing phase you’ve ever gone through?
21. What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever tried?
22. What’s your favorite true crime podcast?
23. Do you like your name?
24. Who’s your favorite celebrity chef?
25. Would you ever take ayahuasca?
26. Do you have a favorite reality TV show?
27. What’s your favorite sport that doesn’t involve a ball?
28. What three words would your friends use to describe you?
29. Who’s your favorite fictional character?
30. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunset?
31. Have you ever been arrested?
32. Do you often remember your dreams?
33. Have you ever seen a ghost?
34. Would you ever pose nude for a photograph or painting?
35. What’s the weirdest punishment they performed during the Middle Ages?
36. What’s do you think is the worst quality about the opposite sex?
37. What’s a fun way to get to know someone, besides dinner and drinks?
38. What road trips would you like to take?
39. Would you prefer camping or glamping?
40. Would you rather have really nice furniture and a small house or really cheap furniture and a mansion?
41. What is your favorite children’s book?
42. Would you rather be able to play every instrument in the world or be fluent in all languages?
43. What’s the fanciest restaurant that you’ve ever been to and what did you order?

READ THIS NEXT: 21 Questions to Ask in a New Relationship .

Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl

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1. Do I look anything like your celebrity crush?
2. What’s your biggest guilty pleasure?
3. Do you like having your picture taken?
4. What about being a woman do you appreciate most?
5. What’s your favorite thing to do during a first date?
6. How many guys have performed a grand romantic gesture for you?
7. What’s the stupidest thing someone has ever said to you on a first date?
8. What do you think my body language is trying to tell you?
9. What do you usually wear to bed?
10. Have you ever purchased something from an adult retailer?
11. Where do you like to be kissed most?
12. What’s your favorite part of the male body?
13. What do you think the most beautiful part of the female body is?
14. When am I taking you out to dinner?
15. Do you believe in love at first sight?
16. What’s your biggest turn-on?
17. Have you ever filmed yourself getting it on?
18. What are the top three qualities you look for in a partner?
19. Do you prefer to make the first move?
20. Have you ever sent a dirty text message?
21. Do you prefer kissing or cuddling?
22. Did you ever have the hots for a teacher?
23. What color do you think would look best on me?
24. Where would you rather meet up, a cafe or a bar?
25. How would you describe your ideal relationship?
26. What’s more important, intelligence or appearance?
27. What are your biggest turn-offs?
28. How many dates would you need to go on before engaging in a Netflix and chill?
29. Do you have any secret talents?
30. Do you like trying new things?
31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
32. Do you like massages?
33. What’s your favorite way to relax?
34. Do you have plans this weekend?
35. Ideally, how long would intimacy last?
36. Have you ever initiated a booty call?

READ THIS NEXT: 271 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend Before Getting Serious .

Funny Questions to Ask a Girl

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1. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
2. What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?
3. What’s the best practical joke someone has ever pulled on you?
4. What’s the worst pick-up line someone has ever used on you?
5. How would you defend yourself during a zombie apocalypse?
6. What’s an irrational fear that you can make some sense of?
7. Which U.S. president would make the best boyfriend?
8. What kind of food do you think is totally disgusting?
9. Who is the least talented actor working today?
10. What’s your Hogwarts House?
11. Have you ever lied about your age?
12. Have you ever participated in a hot dog eating contest?
13. Would you care if your boyfriend had a more elaborate skincare routine than you?
14. Do you have a favorite dinosaur?
15. Would you rather be allergic to the sun or allergic to your favorite food?
16. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever overheard?
17. When was the last time you sent something via snail mail?
18. What was your favorite TV show as a kid?
19. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
20. What’s one habit that you’ve carried with you since childhood?
21. Pineapple on pizza: yes or no?
22. Would you rather have a private plane or a private yacht?
23. What’s your favorite condiment?
24. What fictional character do you think would be easiest to beat in a fight?
25. How would you defend yourself during the Purge?
26. Which color do you think would taste the best?
27. If you were an instrument what would you be?
28. What’s one body part do you think you could live without?
29. Which cartoon character do you think is most likely to be a serial killer?
30. Which founding father would make the best sugar daddy?
31. What’s the sexiest fruit you can think of?
32. What’s the worst bathroom experience you’ve ever had?
33. How would you react if you found a rodent in your bedroom?
34. What type of cheese matches your personality best?
35. What’s your favorite writing utensil?
36. What show are you currently binge-watching?
37. Have you ever cross-dressed?
38. Do you know how to set a table properly?
39. What’s your favorite cheesy quote?
40. Whose clothes would you prefer to wear, your mom’s or your dad’s?
41. Do you still watch any cartoons?
42. If you had to join the circus, what job would you want?
43. Would you rather live in a world full of witches or a world full of superheroes?
44. Let’s say reincarnation is real: What would you want to come back as?

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What If Questions to Ask a Girl

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1. What if you only had one day left to live? What would you want to do?
2. What if you could relive one day in your life? Which would you choose and why?
3. What if you could go back in time and change the future of events? Would you do it?
4. What if you could read people’s minds? Would you use your superpower for your own personal gain?
5. What if your family didn’t approve of your significant other? Would you still stay with them?
6. What if you had to decide between love and money? What would you choose?
7. What if we got stranded in a remote location? Who do you think would save the day?
8. What if you met a guy who didn’t speak English? Would you give him a shot?
9. What if you were given one million dollars? What would you buy first?
10. What if you had to decide between your vision and your hearing? Which sense would you choose to keep?
11. What if someone you love committed a terrible crime? Would you visit them in prison?
12. What if you could live for 200 years? Would you do it?
13. What if you could cure a disease? Which one would you choose to eradicate?
14. What if you could experience happiness without any sadness? Would you choose to forgo the latter?
15. What if you were invited to have tea with the King of England? Would you accept the offer?
16. What if you could learn a new language with the press of a button? Which one would you choose?
17. What if you could get away with never doing a certain chore ever again? Which one would you avoid?
18. What if you became President of the United States? Which cause would you pursue first?
19. What if you could teleport anywhere in the world? Where would you go?
20. What if one of my friends made a move on you? Would you let me know?
21. What if you found out the guy you were dating liked dancing naked to the Backstreet Boys? Would that be a dealbreaker?
22. What if your boyfriend went to prison? Would you wait for him?
23. What if I gained a ton of weight? Would you still be interested in me?
24. What if your worst fear came true? How would you cope?
25. What if animals could talk? Which would be most annoying to listen to?
26. What if you weren’t allowed near a computer for the next month? Would you catch up on your reading or simply move operations onto your phone?
27. What if you could only watch one reality TV show for the rest of your life? Which would you choose?
28. What if you could only communicate by breaking out into song? Which one would you choose to let people know you were upset?
29. What if you could play the perfect prank? Who would you target?
30. What if real life were more like the movies? Which film would you want yours to resemble?
31. What if your 13-year-old self drafted your dating profile ? What would it say?
32. What if you went on a first date with someone who only listened to elevator music? Would you agree to go out with them again?
33. What if you could pick a famous person to insult? Who would you choose and what would you say?
34. What if you had to eat the same meal every day for the rest of your life? What would you make?
35. What if you had to choose a different hair color? Which would you settle on?
36. What if animals could make documentaries about humans? What weird things would they show?
37. What if you were born a child prodigy? What skill would you want to excel at?

READ THIS NEXT: 236 Important Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend .

Questions to Ask a Girl Over Text

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1. Are you watching anything good right now?
2. What’s the most annoying thing about where you live?
3. Have you already had dinner?
4. How do you feel about small talk?
5. What’s your favorite emoji?
6. What’s a GIF that best describes how you’re feeling right now?
7. How’s work going?
8. What are you wearing?
9. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen on TikTok today?
10. What are your plans for this weekend?
11. What’s your favorite place to get takeout from?
12. What’s the cutest thing your dog/cat has done today?
13. Is it cold in your apartment/house right now?
14. Have you had coffee yet?
15. What are you doing for dinner?
16. What’s your favorite quote from a movie?
17. What time are you going to bed?
18. What’s a song that you can listen to over and over again?
19. What’s the weirdest message someone has ever sent you on Tinder?
20. What’s the funniest picture you have on your phone?
21. Which phone app do you use most?
22. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you this week?
23. What do you usually do on the weekends?
24. Do you want to FaceTime?
25. Are you watching anything good tonight?
26. Do you have a favorite documentary?
27. Will you send me a picture? It can be of anything!

READ THIS NEXT: 50 Cute Things to Say to Your Girlfriend Every Day .

Deep Questions to Ask a Girl

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1. What’s the biggest lesson life has ever taught you?
2. Do you consider yourself a spiritual person?
3. What do you think is the worst thing about getting older?
4. What’s one activity that you have on your bucket list?
5. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
6. Who is your favorite family member?
7. Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship ?
8. What personality trait do you consider to be a red flag?
9. What types of jobs exist only because people are lazy?
10. Do you consider yourself to be a good person?
11. Have you ever confronted any of your deepest fears?
12. What’s one thing you would want both you and your significant other to enjoy?
13. Is there anything you would change about yourself?
14. What do you think is the most dangerous quality a person can possess?
15. Do you have a good relationship with your mom?
16. What are three principles you want to instill in your children?
17. What energizes you?
18. What’s your worst habit?
19. If you could be a fly on the wall anywhere and at any point in history, what would you choose and why?
20. What do you want to be remembered for?
21. Do you want to get married someday?
22. If you wanted children, but couldn’t conceive naturally, what other options would you consider?
23. What’s something you want to achieve in life?
24. When are you happiest?
25. If you won the lottery, would you still want to work?
26. What sounds more appealing, stability or spontaneity?
27. How can you tell when you’re in love?
28. Who do you call when you need advice?
29. Would you take in a stray animal that needed a home?
30. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
31. What smell brings you comfort?
32. How would you like to be perceived by others?
33. Do you keep in touch with your exes?
34. When you enter a room, do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
35. Would you prefer to live in a treehouse in the woods or a cottage by the ocean?
36. Would you rather be known for your beauty or kindness?
37. What’s the most important thing for a healthy relationship?
38. What single event has had the biggest impact on who you are?
39. What’s the most extreme example of poverty you’ve ever seen?
40. Do you think that war is inevitable or that specific leadership styles can help us avoid it?
41. Do you believe in past lives?